Being in Love is Pain
by Rachel Sherwood
Summary: Lily has had a hard life, so when she doesn't know what to do, will she finally turn to James for help in her troubles?


Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, except Lily's parents, okeedays? AN: I know in one of the books it said that Lily's parents loved her and stuff, but I was thinking what if they didn't? Well, what if her mother didn't. Deals with domestic violence. And she's friends with Arabella Figg who is niece of the Mrs. Figg Harry knows. I don't know much about the seventies, cause I wasn't even a twinkle in my father's eye back then. Not a Cinderella story! THIS FIC IS NOT SET IN FIRST YEAR. IT IS JUST A GLIMPSE OF WHAT HER LIFE WAS WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG, AND THEN IT WILL GO ONTO 6TH YEAR! Dedicated to anyone who has ever suffered from domestic violence, directly or indirectly. Love is pain "Witches and Wizards, bah! It's shit Lily!" Lily's mother, Pru, screwed the letter up into a ball with one and slapped her youngest daughter across the face with the other. Lily bit back tears and stood firm. She was used to her mother's rages, drunken or otherwise, and she knew that running away would just make it worse in the end. Lily's elder sister, Petunia, stood behind her mother, face impassive. "Now, now, Pru, why don't we just check it out? Then we can laugh about it later," Sean, Lily's father suggested, pretending not to know that his wife was drunk, pretending it didn't matter. Pretending was his way of coping, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. This time it did. "Why not?" Pru sneered, she was in good humour. "Then my precious daughter can waste her time on something else." She laughed nastily, and flicked the crumpled letter into the nearby wastebin, then stalked out. "Go make sure we're all locked up," Sean sighed wearily to Petunia. Pru got very paranoid at times, and finding that any window, door, or other entrance to the house were unlocked would set her off, sure as sunrise. "Sure, Pa." Petunia nodded and hurried away. "Are you okay Lilyflower?" Sean touched Lily's face gently. "I don't know what came over Pru, I really don't." "It's fine, Pa, honestly." Lily said, her face throbbing painfully. It was fine, compared to some of the beatings her mother inflicted on her. "Go to bed, Lilyflower," Sean told her, "and we'll see about these witches and wizards in the morning." "Night, Pa." Lily stood on tiptoe to kiss her fathers bristly cheek, and slip her arms around his neck. "Night, Lilyflower." Sean kissed her on the top of her head, and walked steadily away, humming to himself. Lily watched him go, then, eyes darting around to watch for any sign of her mother, she retrieved the crumpled letter. She smoothed it out and reread it, hardly daring to hope. Lily rose early the next morning. She wanted to stay in bed and enjoy the warmth and safety of her blankets, but she knew she had to get up. She groaned, and glanced at the clock - 6:15. She had overslept. Lily swore silently, and got up. She dressed quickly, and all but ran down to the kitchen. She had forty-five minutes to make Monday's breakfast - porridge and fresh orange juice. Lily squeezed the oranges, and poured the juice into two pitchers, one for her parents, one from her and Petunia. Lily made up the porridge, and put it in four bowls. She filled a pitcher with milk, then heated it. She put two of the bowls and the milk onto a tray, followed by the juice, a bowl full of sugar, two spoons, and three glasses - one filled with water. Lily lifted the tray just as the clock reached 6:57. She carried it up too her parents room, and knocked on the door with her elbow.  
  
"Come in," Her father's voice called. Lily pushed the door open with her foot and went cautiously in. Her mother looked terrible, red-eyed and groaning. "Aspirin," Pru groaned. Lily placed the tray on the bed and took the packet of aspirin from her mother's bedside table. She put one in the glass of water and handed it to her mother. "Thankyou Lily," Sean smiled at her. "It's so kind of you girls to do all the housework, and cook such beautiful meals." Sean wasn't home that often, having a job that took him away twenty days out of every twenty-one. He had a rare week off, but was still unaware of the pain and suffering in his home. "What is this rubbish?" Pru snarled. She had just sampled the porridge, and it was not too her liking.  
  
"Sorry mother," Lily bowed her head.  
  
"Sorry mother," Pru mimicked cruelly, then, in a fit of rage, she threw the porridge at her daughter. "Pru," Sean said, shocked, "What has gotten into you lately?" "Clean it up," Pru snapped at Lily, ignoring her husband. "Yes mother," Lily knelt down and began to clean up the porridge with the tea towel she always kept tucked into the waistband of her skirt. "Set out my clothes," Pru ordered, "I am going to see Mrs. Slater, and I want the cream suit." "Yes mother," Lily nodded, and crossed the room to the large wardrobe. She removed a cream dress and jacket from a hanger, and laid it on the end of the bed. "Leave," Pru commanded, "and take the tray." "Yes mother," Lily lifted the tray and backed out of the room. She made her way down to the kitchen and started to clean the dishes. "It was my fault," She said, examining her porridge-cover clothes, "If I was a better cook she would be happy." "Have you made breakfast?" Petunia asked, descending the stairs. Then she spotted Lily's clothes. "What on earth happened?" She exclaimed. "My porridge wasn't good enough," Lily answered, then added, mainly too herself, "Mother was right to throw it at me." "Go and get cleaned up," Petunia instructed. "Vernon is coming over, and you look disgraceful." "Sorry Petunia." Lily bowed her head and hurried up too her room, where she threw her clothes in the clothesbasket and pulled a pair of jeans and a plain white top on. She returned to the kitchen, and finished the dishes. "I've put the washing on," Petunia said, "But you'll have to do the ironing, I'm not cutting my date short to come home and do the chores." "I'll do it," Lily whispered. Her sister would get angry if she had to cut her date short, and Lily was keen to avoid any potentially argumentative situations. "Good. I only get to see Vernon once a week outside of school, and he would be so disappointed." The girls were only allowed out of the house once a week - excluding school, and on school days they had to be home by three thirty. Even if the most innocent thing - like the bus being late- caused them to be late home they would get a 'lecture' from their mother. "Lilyflower?" Sean was coming down into the kitchen, "are you ready?" "Yes Pa." Lily nodded. "Why, aren't you looking beautiful today?" Sean had seen Petunia, all ready for her date, even though it was three hours until she would be picked up. "Thanks," Petunia fluttered her eyelashes. Only two people ever called her beautiful; her father and her boyfriend, Vernon. Her mother called her slightly more abusive names - whore, for instance-, and Lily avoided mentioning anything that would possibly upset her. Petunia was very touchy about her looks, as she was not particularly pretty - with a rather horselike face, and a very long neck. Lily could have been rather pretty, if her hair wasn't always tied back in a rough plait, and if she had more confidence. "You'd better tell mother you're going out," Lily whispered to her sister." "Yeah." Petunia gave her little sister a squeeze, "Love you." "Love you too." "Come on, Lilyflower," Sean took his daughters hand. "Bye, Prettybloom." "Bye, Pa, Lily." Petunia said, and disappeared in the direction of her parent's room. "Come on, Lilyflower." Sean led his daughter out to the car, and they set off for London. "Excuse me sir," Lily tapped a man on the arm. They were in the pub her father hadn't been able to see until they were inside it.  
  
"Yes?" He turned around to look at her. "Are you magic?" She asked shyly. "You could say that." He laughed. "Muggleborn, are you?" "What born?" Lily asked. "That answers the question," He smiled kindly at her. "Muggles are non- magic people. If your parents and grandparents weren't magic, that means you were a muggleborn witch." "Oh. I see." Lily nodded. "I'm Curtius Figg," He said.  
  
"Lily Evans," Lily introduced herself. "First year Hogwarts?" He asked, then when Lily nodded, he shouted "Arabella! Come here!" Lily shrunk back from the shout, as a girl about the same age as Lily came bouncing up. "What is it, Daddieo?" She asked. She had curly brown hair, and dark brown eyes. "This is Lily," He said, "She's a muggleborn first year." Then too Lily, "This is my daughter Arabella Figg. If you want, she'll show you around." "Oh, if it's no trouble." Lily said nervously. "No trouble at all!" Arabella answered cheerfully, "I need to buy my stuff anyway, so." She shrugged. "Thanks," Lily looked around for her father. "Pa, Pa where are you?" She called, not wanting to lose him. "Here," Sean walked over too him. "I was talking to the bartender," He explained. Then he spotted Curtius and Arabella. "Hello, I'm Sean," He introduced himself.  
  
"Curtius Figg," Curtius said, "And my daughter Arabella." "Nice too meet you." Sean held out his hand and Curtius shook it.  
  
"You'll need to change some money," Curtius told them. "I'll take you through to Diagon Alley, and show you the bank. Then Arabella can show you around." "Lily, once I've given you some money I have to go and do some shopping, is it okay if I leave you here and meet you in about two hours?" Sean asked. "S-sure," Lily nodded, fighting back the wave of panic she was feeling. She followed Arabella and Curtius out the back of the pub, and into Diagon Alley. "Wow," She whispered to herself. "Cool, isn't it?" Arabella grinned at her. They went to the bank, where Sean exchanged some money and set up an account for Lily. "Here's two hundred Galleons," Sean said, handing Lily the money, "it should cover all your expenses, and you can get a pet if you want one." "Thanks, Pa." Lily said, and hugged him.  
  
"I'm going shopping. I'll meet you in the pub in two hours," Sean hugged her back, and then released her. "Come on!" Arabella grabbed Lily's hand, "I just saw a friend of mine, and you have to met him!" "Okay," Lily ran off with Arabella, leaving her father standing with an amused smile on his face. "Remus, Remus wait up!" Arabella wheezed, grabbing the shoulder of the boy in front of her. "Arabella?" Remus turned around and smiled at her. He looked rather worn, as if he'd been up all night. "No, it's the Minister of magic," Arabella said sarcastically. "Your Ministership," Remus laughed and bowed. "And who are you?" He asked, looking at Lily. "Lily Evans," Lily answered, looking more nervous than ever. "Muggleborn?" He asked sympathetically. "Yes." "You'll get used too it." He patted her shoulder. "Have you done your shopping yet?" Arabella asked. "Yes, Mum has it." Remus nodded. "I'm going to look for James and Sirius." "Okay," Arabella nodded, as he walked off after saying goodbye to them both. "James and Sirius are the biggest troublemakers in the world. I don't know them that well, but Remus grew up in the same street so they're good friends." "Oh," Lily didn't really know what to say. "Come on," Arabella sighed, "School shopping calls." Lily laughed, and the two walked off in the direction of Flourish and Botts. Two hours later Lily was sitting in the pub next to Arabella, having a drink of water and waiting for her father. "So, how'd you get that bruise? It looks nasty?" Arabella asked, looking closely at the bruise on Lily's cheek.  
  
"Oh that?" Lily laughed nervously. "I slipped over on one of my sister's tubes of lipstick, and thumped into the sofa." She lied, not ready to tell Arabella the truth, even though they were pretty good friends now. "Ouch." Arabella winced. "Arabella," Her father came up behind the two, "It's time to go." "See you, Lily! September 1st! Two weeks!" Arabella said loudly, and Lily sighed. "Bye Arabella!" She called, waving. "Lily," Sean had just walked in the door, and had come over to the table she was sitting at. "I hope you haven't been waiting too long for me." "Not very long at all." Lily said, then she indicated the silvery owl in the cage on the table, "Like my owl, Starflight?" "I love her." Sean smiled at his daughter, then clutched his chest. "What is it?" Lily asked, concerned. "Nothing," He wheezed, "Just a twinge in my heart," Sean picked up Lily's glass of water, and drank a little bit. "That's better." He smiled, "probably caused by the knowledge that my little girl is going off to boarding school." He joked lamely. "Sure, Pa." Lily looked doubtful. "Come on, let's go home." Sean said, lifting a couple of her bags. Lily followed him out to the car, and they started on the hour long journey that would take them home to the sister Lily loved and adored, and the mother that hit her. Lily sighed. "I love you, Lilyflower." Sean smiled at her. "I love you with all my heart." "I love you too Pa," Lily smiled, she was with the one man that would protect her, the one man that loved her. Three weeks later he was dead. Okay, not the best of ends.. But do you like it? I'll only continue if you want me too. Her father had a heart attack, okay? Please tell me what you think! Then next chapter will be 6th year. 


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